The tough guide to Fantasy Land

This authoritative A-Z constitutes an essential source of information for all who dare to venture into the imaginative hinterlands. It provides acute insights into such mysteries as how HORSES reproduce, the varying types of VIRGIN and the importance of CLOAKS to those wondering about going on a quest with a fellowship (of the Ring or otherwise). Features include: * A map. * Lively background on those you will meet, including: BARBARIAN HORDES, lots and lots of wild-seeming people advancing under a cloud of dust in order to devastate more civilised parts and ELVES, who claim they did not evolve like humans ...Certainly there seems to be no such thing as the Elvish ancestral ape. * Full details on the catering arrangements: BEER always foams and is invariably delivered in tankards. What do you mean, 'it tastes awful'? The Management is not concerned with the taste of it. That is your funeral. * Useful hints on coping in Fantasyland: ARMOUR is generally regarded as cheating. TORTURE is obligatory at some stage.